the four right chords can make me cry

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a problem.
Sometimes I feel like my only friend is the city I live in.

Ok so those aren't exactly the words, but that's how I like to imagine them to be.
Past few days have been afflicted by low self esteem. Those of you who have never had to deal with it will probably think i'm just being stupid. But it's real to me. To have to wake up everyday and feel like you really don't like yourself. But sometimes I feel like I don't have a problem. Sometimes in the span of two minutes I can feel both really good and really bad about myself. But bad has been dominant of late.

I know I'm not being logical.

Really like to thank all those people who were so nice to me today, kept me from just giving up and crying. Bet they did'nt know it made such a difference to me, and they probably will never know. (a lot is going on beneath the surface, but at the same time, nothing at all). In order of appearance, sh, vi, da, su, an, gr, nl, y, ja, be, dw, and ch. Sorry, being this cryptic is not normally my style, but even if I mentioned names you wouldn't know who they were, and this is more for me to remember than for broadcasting, khao jai mai?

That having been said, ex-president ben whom I met at jamie's performance today is really the nicest guy ever! Such an uncle-uncle kind of niceness =) and so cool, his primary school friend was the guitarist, and he's really good! apparently plays in some jazz/blues outfit, whose name escapes me now. They played at ublues tho!!! Which gives him one million plus points in my book! And james, another one of the old uncle figures in usp (to me anyway) is soo cool too! his beard and long hair and specs! (Although serene would know that I generally find guys with facial hair kinda gross, james does it really well) And his super casual attire, I've only ever seen him in berms and t-shirts. He's a really unique individual, doesnt care what other people think he is, he's just himself. And that's cool. Only mention them cos they were the most recent ppl in my day, but today was a really busy day, past two days have been, and so filled with different people.

friday went to the PCC to volunteer, then went to school, then went to the zoo, then went home, then went to heeren for dinner with prof titima (her son speaks english, thai AND HEBREW. how cool is that?!). Today went for operation karang guni with VCF, then rushed down to school for kent ridge's hall production. This is a VERY concise summary. So much happened in these activities... but sian la, don't feel like blogging it down. heck.

posted by beckyboo @ 1:39 AM 0 comments

(^_^) Kawaii!!!

Mandy, you say it best! my suave speedy sinhalese! (oh yeah, and some random goofy looking kid). Dang, I want an autograph too. *whine*

yeah I miss Ban Tham too Stef. I will hold you to your word! If i'm still left on the shelf at 30 we are moving there and setting up a farm! But do you think we can convince the suave speedy sinhalese to come along?

posted by beckyboo @ 11:53 PM 0 comments

You scored as Earth. You are Earth-quiet, shy, and kind. The peaceful type, you enjoy cuddling up and reading a good book. You'd choose to stay at home in your sweats over a huge bash. Earth 77% Saturn 58% Jupiter 57% Neptune 55% Pluto 45% Mars 38% Mercury 35% Venus 34% Uranus 32% What planet are you from? created with QuizFarm.com

Ok so I'm boring, tell me something I don't know.

Oh, good news. The USP reading room has copies of Woolf and Augustine! AND Volatire AND Burke too! Yay!!! Yet another perk of being in USP =)

Other perks include: Great, challenging, engaging classes, Super nice very scholarly profs, access to the computer rooms so you don't have to fight it out in the library, a USP community (to guard against loneliness and obscurity), water coolers with nice cold water all the time (unlike everywhere else on campus), non-crowded toilets, priority for exchange, funding for things like conferences and student initiatives, opportunities like making a documentary and theatre production about the tsunami, the writing centre, free barbeques, priority housing at PGP, our own clubroom (excellent place to bum around, sleep or dump stuff). And the guys are (generally) nice and friendly and articulate, unlike in science when they are (usually) chao muggers with no personality, or cheena or both. (I really hope no one reads this and gets mad at me, its just an unfounded, biased opinion that I hold... see the caveat!)

The downside is that sometimes I feel so dumb, and un-driven and not articulate in comparison. And USP does get it's fair share of weridos too, in fact, it seems to attract a particular intensity of weirdo. But 99.9% are really nice people, once I stop being shy and actually talk to them.

posted by beckyboo @ 11:38 PM 0 comments

Saw UK Shyam today! *swoon*

But better than that, I finally had lunch with mandy! Made me realise how much I miss her, and how much influence she had over me. It was so wonderfully good and comfortable to be with a good friend again in school. Mandy, you're definetly one friend I never want to lose touch with!

I wanna meet people for lunch in school everyday! Gives me something to look forward to when I'm so sleepy in class and the cheerfulness spills over, enough to keep me awake for the next class! But more than that, it's just being with people and catching up, talking about everything significant and insignificant. Knowing what's going on in their lives, what's made them happy or sad, their plans for the future etc.

I'm meeting Stef on wed, so, YAY! Met tenghui for a while to pass him a file, had to rush off to class, wish we had more time to talk!

This week is a rather hectic week. Still have to settle the freight thing, give tuition, go for driving lesson, attend a workshop, bake quiches, visit the PCC, start working on my robot project, go to the zoo. On top of doing tutorials which start this week and the usual readings etc. But I've been through much worse, so this actually seems quite manageable. Talk big, today only monday leh.

posted by beckyboo @ 10:20 PM 2 comments

What I remember from Ivan's message on Sunday

Ephesians 2: 1-10

And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and that now of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

No-nonsense, point blank honesty.

• Apart from God, we are dead.
• Who you trying to kid when you tell yourself that you're not a bad person? If we are honest with ourselves, who would stand?
• How many times have we secretly rejoiced when others fell? Made another person feel small to boost your own ego? I know I'm guilty.

The Truth

• We are enslaved to

1) The world
2) The devil
3) Ourselves, both the flesh and the mind

• We only deserve God's wrath

God's anger is not like Man's and we shouldn't think that He gets angry in the same way we do. (that's anthropomorphism) Man's anger is inconsistent and often unjustified, God's anger is always consistent and always justified.

• BUT, we are loved more than we can imagine, hope for or dream of.

In spite of all that we've done, God was willing to sacrifice everything to redeem us. And not only that, He has raised us up to the heavenly places.

• And Jesus Christ is there every step of the way

made us alive together with Christ (v5), sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus (v6), His kindness towards us in Christ Jesus (v7), created in Christ Jesus for good works (v10).

posted by beckyboo @ 9:52 PM 0 comments

ok, fine, so I am a nerd.

books make me happy! is that a crime?

went crazy over this penguin selection of books that revolutionised the world that i saw in kino today. Titles include:

Seneca, On the Shortness of Life
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
St Augustine, Confessions of a Sinner
Thomas a Kempis, The Inner Life
Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince
Michel de Montaigne, On Friendship
Jonathan Swift, A Tale of a Tub
Jean-Jacques Rousseau, The Social Contract
Edward Gibbon, The Christians and the Fall of Rome
Thomas Paine, Common Sense
Mary Wollstonecraft, A Vindication of the Rights of Woman
William Hazlitt, On the Pleasure of Hating
Karl Marx & Friedrich Engels, The Communist Manifesto
Arther Schopenhauer, On the Suffering of the World
John Ruskin, On Art and Life
Charles Darwin, On Natural Selection
Friedrich Nietzsche, Why I am So Wise
Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own
Sigmund Freud, Civilization and Its Discontents
George Orwell, Why I Write

I want to read them ALL. but at $12 a book... i only got one in the end, a Kempis. I already have Darwin's sitting around on my desk, havent read through it yet. The rest... dunno. Yearn...

Also at kino, picked up a copy of Tim Burton's The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and other stories and read through the whole thing. The most enjoyable poetry I've read! But at the same time also so sad and accurate. Do check out this website for a taste.

posted by beckyboo @ 3:37 AM 0 comments

yay~

much to the annoyance of all the depressed people out there, I am, and have been, in a rather jolly good mood recently. Today was no exception.

first of all, having a good hair day. My hair is very tempermental, and usually, it's so messy that it makes me look tempermental. But it was very well behaved today, my mum even thought i cut my hair or something. I swear by pantene's new formula conditioner. I used to think all this new formula stuff was just a lie, but apparently not!

secondly i wore my guitar earrings to school today. Which makes me doubly happy, because 1) they're earrings 2) they're guitars. Although no one actually really noticed (smothered by the good hair), I knew! And that's all that matters

thirdly, although you may think i sound like a bimbo, it's actually pretty amazing that I feel so positive about myself today. It's taken me 7 years to come to this point, fending off low-self esteem and poor body image. so there. I don't care what you think. hah.

fourthly, met jamie for lunch today! it was really good to talk and share about our lives in a non-superficial way, talking about our walk with God, our ministries, our struggles, our triumphs. Yeah, really impressed by jamie's very honest and open, forthcoming sharing. Very encouraging =)

fifthly, had cell group today! It was really good meeting up with the whole cell again. James and Jeremiah are good cell group leaders. Really quite edifying to be among them and study the bible and worship together. And fun!

sixthly, no school tomorrow!!! 'nuff said.

seventhly, visiting the patient care centre with usp on saturday! Haven't been there in a loooong time, too long. Hopefully can talk to sister mary about a more long term commitment to it, cos I wanna continue helping out with the AIDS patients.

eightly, lunch appointments galore! Meeting mandy on monday and stef on wednesday! YAY! Can't quite explain the happiness, its not like I haven't seen them in years or what, but it makes me THAT happy. :D

ninthly, gabs is back! hihi gabs! I've missed you!

and finally

Tenthly... haha this one is private, can't tell you!

Anticlimax!

posted by beckyboo @ 2:18 AM 0 comments

So surreal.

I just woke up from the weirdest dream.

I'm sitting down somewhere, next to my friend whom I haven't seen since the beginning of last sem, but I just saw today at the bus stop. We're talking, blah blah blah, and suddenly he takes my hand and looks at it. I look at it too. And it's grotesquely wrinkled, bent, and swollen.

Weird.

I think it's been one too many visits to the milo truck.

posted by beckyboo @ 5:38 PM 0 comments

They nailed it.

Jerry and Mary White. Friends and Friendship.

The diagnosis.
Shyness has two basic manifestations. Some people steer away from social contact with others, even on a friendly basis, They're comfortable with only a few limited relationships, and their shyness prevents a wide range of acquaintances and friends.
The other side of shyness is a refusal to let other people into one's life - a basic fear of letting anyone view the inner self. This is different than a natural confident reserve. The shy person experiences anxiety at the thought of allowing others to see him as he really is, fearing he does not have enoughto offer.
Both aspects of shyness - avoiding social contacts and fearing self-relevation - seclude the shy person from meaningful friendships. The expression painfully shy is no mere figure of speech.
Shyness produces loneliness which hurts, and it aggravates doubts about self-worth, which causes (all too familiar) acute anxiety.
Thousands upon thousands of people live isolated, lonely lives because they feel no one could possibly be ineterested in a friendship with them. Afer all, they think, what do they have to offer? They possess no special talents, exhibit no glamorous personality characteristics, and have nothing exceptional or beautiful about their appearance. Why would anyone even notice them, much less seek out a friendship? yeah... why?
Our high schools, colleges, neighborhoods, and churches overflow with far too many of these sad, solitary people. Their lack of confidence may be the result of critical, negative parents, personal rejection by friends or colleagues, negative thinking patterns, or unfair comparisons with others. guilty as charged. Whatever the cause, a poor self-image impedes friendships and isolates a person behind a wall of pain and dejection.

The prescription.
When we recognise that God has created each of us as a unique person, that we do have God-given characteristics to offer as a friend, we can begin to break the shell of loneliness. Each of us has something to contribute to the life of another.
Those who desire to overcome their shyness and build new friendships need to establish a new outlook on themselves and other people. This process will require determination, time, and energy. It would be very helpful for the shy person to recruit a sympathetic friend to help him through the process - perhaps a close family member or a trusted church acquaintance.
Scripture provides us with two major antidotes to shyness:
1. God has lovingly created every person with valuable qualities - that includes you! If others fail to see your good qualities, don't let that persuade you that you don't have any. "So God created man in his own image... God saw all that he had made, and it was very good" (Genesis 1:27, 31). "I will be glad and rejoice in your love" (Psalm 31:7).
2. We have a responsibility before God to extend our lives to others. "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:10).
Don't let shyness keep you from reaching the fulfilment God intends for you in sharing your life with others.
Ok, I'll try.

posted by beckyboo @ 11:17 PM 3 comments

Coldplay sings to my soul

A warning sign
I missed the good part, then I realised
I started looking and the bubble burst
I started looking for excuses
Come on in
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones
That I started looking for a warning sign

I know what I need. But I don't know where to find it.

Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

To me, in deciding what a good song is, musicality is a big factor. But most of all, of paramount importance, is how the song makes me feel, the kind of images the lyrics conjure, but most powerfully, the mood of the song. The more I can identify with the song, the more I like it. When the singer sings, it's as if he takes the words out of my mouth and gives it a beautiful new arrangement, singing out the deepest emotions of my soul, expressed in a way I could never produce myself. That's why I don't have a favourite song. Different songs for different seasons of the soul. That's why I post so many lyrics up on this blog. That's why I like to ask people what kind of music they like, because it gives me insight, lets me peer into their souls. That's why I think people who like boybands are, honestly, quite pathetic. That's why sometimes I think people who are not into music don't have character. That's why I'm pretty good at remembering lyrics.

Coldplay. Chris Martin's plaintive, haunting wail of a voice.

Look at earth from outer space
Everyone must find a place
Give me time and give me space
Give me real, don't give me fake
Give me strength, and self control
Give me heart and give me soul
Give me time, give us a kiss
Tell me your own politik

I think emotions should not be called "happy", "sad", "angry", etc. They aren't descriptive enough. Not near enough. They hardly capture what I really feel, with all it's complexities and nuances. I think emotions should be named after bands or songs. Today I feel "Coldplay", "Collective Soul" and a bit "Dishwalla".

So I retreat into my solitude with my emotions. Excuse me while I go listen to a rush of blood to the head for a third time.

posted by beckyboo @ 11:49 PM 41 comments

*yawn*

is it me, or is this blog dead? no commentors, no traffic. yeah I guess i'm kinda boring.

So.

For your entertainment... here's why I think the music industry today is total crap! Recycling songs! The cheek!!! Haha, but it's freaking farnie...

And this! This is just too cute to pass up. I love penguins!!! Hmm so did jikun, as I recall. I wonder how he's doing...

but let's not forget the bunnies!

ikea is rather stupid.

I think I'm in love!

posted by beckyboo @ 9:33 PM 2 comments

talking to miah made me realise

• that the quiet people usually have the most interesting things to say.
• that by stepping down from bay, I have no alternative means of getting fellowship. For now.
• that I really needed someone to listen to me.

In school, so far so good. =) USP classes are tough but interesting! I appreciate the challenge. What I really appreciate though, is actually knowing people around me. It makes school a wonderful place to be, surrounded by friends. Saw so many familiar faces today! Even Mr Saegtuksin! (haha, me and stef think just saying the name out loud is enough cause for laughter)

And my lecturers so far are great! Only for usp tho, the prob & biostats guy is VERY sleep inducing. Mendis seems like a funny guy, Choi looks like a kindly old guy, Yew is super patient and very nice! Only bioD remains to be seen.

and Colin passed me the photos from usp camp. Looking through them at home, I was shocked!!! Anne and Godwin were actually OGLs at that camp but I never knew they existed before going for PTA meetings! Same thing for Pema, Jason, Shaun, Boredin, Nian long, Abdullah, Fiza, Jacky, Meng chun, Melvin, Cheryl etc! My goodness, I'm really so blur meh? Attend a camp for 3 (or 5, i cant remembr) days and play games with these people and I don't know who they are? Haha... typical becky.

posted by beckyboo @ 3:01 AM 0 comments

Straits Times, Jan 11, 2005
Put an end to this dangerous JC 'game'

...According to my son, the violent act is dubbed 'taupok', a reference to a highly compressible piece of brown beancurd. A student would shout 'taupok' and other students would pounce on the targeted person, drag him down forcefully and climb on top of him. Due to peer pressure, more and more students would join in until the stack of bodies is about a metre high.

...I write this letter in the sincere hope of preventing a tragedy. Hopefully, we can keep 'taupok' where it belongs - in that delicious bowl of noodles.

Oh. My. Goodness.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

posted by beckyboo @ 11:20 PM 2 comments

"My doctor says that I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes."

you think that's rubbish? try a reading from one my modules this sem!
http://www.howstuffworks.com/framed.htm?parent=cd-burner.htm&url=http://www.ee.washington.edu/conselec/CE/kuhn/cdaudio2/95x7.htm
Now, the resulting 24 + 4Q = 28 bytes word is interleaved. Each of the 28 bytes is delayed by a different period. Each period is an integral multiple of 4 blocks. So the first byte might be delayed by 4 blocks, the second by 8 blocks, the third by 12 blocks and so on. The interleaving spreads the word over a total of 28 x 4 = 112 blocks.

The resulting 28 byte words are again subjected to a parity operation. This generates four more parity bytes called P bytes which are placed at the end of the 28 bit data word. The word is now a total of 28 + 4 = 32 bytes long. Parity errors found in this part of the algorithm are called C2 errors. More on the P parity later too.

Finally, the another odd-even delay is performed -- but this time by just a single block. Both the P and Q parity bits are inverted (turning the "1s" into "0s") to assist data readout during muting.

wha? what have I gotten myself into?!?

posted by beckyboo @ 9:33 PM 0 comments

Stats for bidding round 2C

no. of vacancies: 87
no. of bidders: 113
lowest bid: 1 <-- thats me, I forgot to go update my bid
lowest successful bid: 421
highest bid: 1533 <--- siao eh, I only have 731 points in my account la! Crazy 2nd/3rd year students! I hate you!!!!

the person who bid 420 must be cursing and screaming too. I didn't get THAI1!!! DEVASTATED doesnt even begin to say it!!! TRAGEDY!!! WAIL!!!

*mopemopesulksulk*

posted by beckyboo @ 1:51 AM 0 comments

bang, ang, ty and me

I'm so HAPPY! Ty (see photo) called me on my handphone this morning. Didn't really understand what she was saying, (I caught "email mai dai" and "chok dee") but it was good to hear from them anyway. I say them because I could hear at least one other kid in the background trying to get a word in. I didn't think they'd actually call me, but they did! In more ways than one, my thailand expedition was really NOT an "exercise in tokenism" (to quote tim), unlike most other expeditions. Although we can hardly understand each other, I sincerely do miss the people in the village. I will understand them better after thai1 this sem! Yay! Really looking forward to that =)

I had a good time meeting Esther and her friends yesterday. Dinner at Mumtaz Mahal was exceptionally yummy!!! Tandoori chicken, papadum, naan, curry, briyani and ice cream! Thanks so much to Bala, who was wonderfully nice about the whole thing. He even called again to check if everything was ok. Esther, if you're reading this, Hi! Hope you had as much fun as I did =)

Then we went to Chinablack! Meet joel, ben, timo, gabs and kel (in order of appearance). Then later Anne joined us as well. Honestly, I was kinda worried that my 3 different groups of friends wouldn't integrate, and I would have to shuttle between all 3 in an attempt to ease the awkwardness which i'm not terribly good at, being so awkward myself. Especially worried that Anne might feel out of place, cos none of my other thailand trip friends came. (I really wish I had gone out to see Pema tho! Twin sister leh...) But it turned out pretty well, everyone had a good time and I was pretty happy. Chinablack? Drinks were practically non-alcoholic, music got really bad at some stages, and they seem to believe that dancefloor is to can is to people is to sardines. (people who've taken SAT will understand that analogy). But hey, it was good in the end because the excellent company more than made up for it. Thanks guys, I had fun, but I don't think i'll be going clubbing again any time soon, my mum will think I'm become pai kia and I anticipate a clamp down.

do six impossible things before breakfast!

posted by beckyboo @ 11:12 AM 1 comments

posted by beckyboo @ 4:13 PM 0 comments

Proof!!!

STI Jan 4, 2005
Smart women stay single, study finds

LONDON - A HIGH IQ is a hindrance for women wanting to get married but it is an asset for men, a study by four British universities has found.
Researchers found that the schoolgirls with high IQs later witnessed a dramatic decline in their marriage prospects.
But the brighter schoolboys found it easier to find a bride.
'Women in their late 30s who have gone for careers after the first flush of university and who are among the brightest of their generation are finding that men are just not interesting enough,' psychologist and professor at Nottingham University Paul Brown said.
Writer Claire Rayner said intelligent men often preferred a less brainy partner.
'A chap with a high IQ is going to get a demanding job... In many ways he wants a woman who is an old-fashioned wife and looks after the home.' -- AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE

becky says...
All this nonsense about equality... 40 years after the feminism became a buzzword and men still prefer stupid women. Boobs over brains.
Worried about not being able to find a husband? Fret not! Just bash your head on a wall till your IQ drops a few points. True, you may never again rise above worrying if your nail polish matches your shoes and your answer for anything remotely philosophical will inevitably be "World peace! *winsome smile*", but then again, you'll be super attractive to "chaps with high IQs"! Now isn't that wonderful?

posted by beckyboo @ 11:58 PM 0 comments

Life ain't so shitty
There's a lot that you can be
And ain't it a pity
But it's alright, to smile back at me
And if we both go there
We can count on problems that we might not necessarily
Come in contact with
Hey wake up, do you know where i'm coming' from?

posted by beckyboo @ 9:43 PM 0 comments

becky + cooking = recipe for disaster?

I cooked dinner for family today! An ambitious menu of Green curry chicken and Tom yam soup to boot. Cooking is quite fun yeah, but I don't think i'm terribly good at it. The green curry was kinda watery, not thick enough, but i figure its cos the stuff in the jar was meant only for one serving but i stretched it for at least 4 people. That and the fact that I used milk instead of coconut milk cos i couldnt find any. It was going pretty well tho, till I left it unattended for a while to work on the tom yam, then it boiled. So suddenly from this homogenous soupy thing, it separates into watery thing with bits floating around. Not very visually appealing. Used the wrong kind of eggplant cos I could'nt find the pea type in the supermarket. And it was kinda hard, though i cooked it pretty long, maybe should boil em first? But other than that it was pretty good! Think i just need to get more jars of the green curry stuff and i'm all set. The tom yam was really spicy and a bit on the salty side. I don't really like the paste, shall try another brand next time. I had envisioned big, juicy, succulent prawns drifting about in the soup, but I only had tiny frozen ones, just didn't hit the spot. But the mushrooms were so good, two types, straw and button. Shall put in fewer stalks of lemongrass next time, I just dumped everything in, and it was too much. Got a LOT of leftovers, cos I cooked too much. I also ate alot, tried to finish it, but didn't even finish 1\8th of the curry. Dad can't take spicy food and mum doesnt eat much. And darryl still can't eat spicy food, the wuss. So lots and lots and lots of leftover! Also made agar-agar, but it wasn't sweet enough. But I like added so much sugar already la! Sigh, subsequent batches have never been as good as the first time I made...

I guess the real test is whether my family comes down with food poisoning. Stay tuned folks!

posted by beckyboo @ 11:11 PM 2 comments

Change is in the air... and it smells good!

This year I want to be more mature, more confident about myself so that i'm better at loving others, more tolerant, less easily stressed, more responsible. I want to keep my promises. 2004 was a year of many empty, broken promises. I don't want a repeat performance. Taking a leaf from the elders, I want to be more humble and self-reflective. I want to be focused, clear about what I want, and disciplined, determined to get there. I want to have time for the people I love. I want to delight in God and God alone. I want to do well in school, lose the tummy. I want to get a green belt in taekwondo. I want to pass my driving test. I want to save more. I want to be more generous. I want to clean my room (eventually, heh). I want to make a difference to someone somewhere out there. I want to learn the bass, be an OGL, let my friends know I love them, spend more time with my family. I want to let go, I want to be steadfast.

so help me God.

For your entertainment, I call it the procrastinator's song, enjoy!

Next year :: Jamie Cullum

Next Year
Things are gonna change
Gonna drink less beer
And start all over again
Gonna pull up my socks
Gonna clean my shower
Not gonna live by the clock
But get up at a decent hour
Gonna read more books
Gonna keep up with the news
Gonna learn how to cook
And spend less money on shoes
Pay my bills on time
File my mail away, everyday
Only drink the finest wine
And call my Gran every Sunday
Resolutions
Well Baby they come and go
Will I do any of these things?
The answers probably no
But if there's one thing, I must do,
Despite my greatest fears
I'm gonna say to you
How I've felt all of these years
Next Year, Next Year, Next Year
I gonna tell you, how I feel
Well, resolutions
Baby they come and go
Will I do any of these things?
The answers probably no
But if there's one thing, I must do,
Despite my greatest fears
I'm gonna say to you
How I've felt all of these years
Next Year, Next Year, Next Year

posted by beckyboo @ 1:16 AM 0 comments

Note to self

• Stop eating christmas chocolates already, that is SO 2004.
• Please take your own advice, you git!

posted by beckyboo @ 11:11 PM 0 comments